please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
