Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
You made out with two different species that night
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
