i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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