My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
