I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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