i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
