You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
A+ Viking dick
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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