Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
