his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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