he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You took a bar mat shot.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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