I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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