if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
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she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
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I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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