Swine flu is the new snow day.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
