get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize