Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
