You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
