we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize