I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
