I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
How does one acquire holy water?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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