Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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