I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
