I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
