Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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