Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Sext me about skeletons
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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