Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
