You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
this will be a night to untag.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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