Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
