your thong is hanging out like whoa
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
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