Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize