You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
