there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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