I am in a vortex of obligation.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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