there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
