brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
