Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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