I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
