We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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