Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
