I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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