this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
