of course. lets lasso hookers.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
