Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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