What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
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