week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
