the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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