p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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