They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
