His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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