Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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