yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
