He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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