Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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