How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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