so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
