I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
