At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
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Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
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I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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